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Tuesday morning, I weighed in with an 18 pound gain. Wednesday morning, I lost 1 pound. Thurday morning, I lost 9 pounds. Hopefully by next Wednesday, I’ll have all 18 pounds gone. Sodium makes my body retain fluid, and the most efferctive way to get rid of the excess fluid is to drink a lot of water. That was the difference between Wednesday and Thursday’s weigh in. Tuesday I didn’t drink a lot of water throughout the day, but Wednesday, I drank a ton of water.

Counseling Yesterday

I love my counselor. We’ve only had 3 sessions and she is being so helpful. Yesterday, I was cheerful but under stress about money and the gain from Monday. I’ve allowed tasks to pile up, and I’ve got so much that needs to be done that I was overwhelmed. She helped me to realize that it’s my nature to procrastinate. It’s something that I’ve always done. I was the person in school that always waited until the last minute to write papers and do homework. What’s funny is that I’ve always tried to fix it, but there’s no way to “fix it.” I’m in a constant cycle of putting things off and then feeling guilty and stressed about that behavior. So my homework is to list out everything that needs to be done, and some of this stuff is going to take a while to do, like pay off some debts, and she’s going to help me get organized and break the big stuff down into manageable pieces. We’re going to take the easiest things first, and knock them out of the way because accomplishments feel good and helps us gain momentum towards achieving our long term goals.

The biggest relief comes when she says that I’m doing fine. I understand that I have problems like the weight, debt, and procrastination, but I want to do something to fix my problems. She said that I’m a troubleshooter. (I agree, I’ve always been a troubleshooter. I like to fix problems.)

I told her about getting sick with tonsillitis, my Aunt passing away, and my 18 pound gain. She agreed that antibiotics are notorious for increasing appetite and that my Aunt passing is stressful on me and others in my family. I also told her about all of the steps that I am taking to fix this weight gain situation, so she wasn’t overly concerned about my gain. She said it was understandable. The main thing is that I’m back on track.

I believe that setbacks and gains are part of the weight loss process. Monitoring is crucial to our weight loss success because monitoring makes us aware of where we are. If we don’t monitor, we’re not aware, and then it’s easy to allow things to spiral out of control.

MorticiA shared this awesome poem on my blog, and I am re-posting it for everyone to read.

The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Yes, I’ve gained 18 pounds since my last weigh-in two weeks ago.

My current weight is 474 lbs. It’s time I get back to basics. I’m going to revert back to logging my food on the blog.

Where things went wrong:

• I just gave up for 2 weeks.
• Excuses! I keep making excuses.
• Ignored my weight. I did not monitor my weight.
• Did not blog…. I tend to do better when I blog often.
• Skipped workouts

It all stops today!!!

My primary goal is to eat less than 2000 calories per day for seven days. Danny and I are working on another walking schedule right now since my foot has healed.

Here’s a question that was asked by Christine yesterday:

Hey Stephen! I love your photos and enjoy seeing them, but I’m perplexed by them too. What happened to updates about food, exercise, weight loss? I have no idea how you are doing on your weight-loss journey. Are you still “in the game,” so to speak?

Hey Christine, thank you for asking. Yes, I’m still “in the game.” But I’ve been in a slump lately.

Also, I hope the pics aren’t too annoying. They are off topic.

Last week I skipped my weigh-in, and my eating and exercise has not been on track.

Here are my excuses:

• I got the munchies when I started taking antibiotics for tonsillitis. I don’t know if it’s possible for antibiotics to make a person hungry, but I was.
• My Aunt died, so I just ate whatever I wanted.
• I only like to workout in the morning. If I miss my morning workout, I’ve missed my workout. Oh well…

Earlier I was texting with Emily, and she asked what was one thing that I would like to change everyday for the next seven days. I’m going to eat less than 2000 calories every day for the next seven days. I’ll report my progress every day.

My most pressing goal is the 200 lb loss milestone. As of my last weigh in I’ve got 24 lbs to go, but since I haven’t been doing well, and I’ve skipped a weigh-in, I don’t know where I’m at now. I’m going to weigh in the morning. Like Sonthe says, “before you lose 100 lbs, you must lose 5.”

Now that things have settled down at home and I’m feeling better, I’ll start my workouts again.

I just want some consistency!!!!

One great thing happened on Sunday, my cousin from Atlanta told me that she’s lost twenty lbs and is swimming an hour a day because of my blog. That felt good.

Today is a sad day. My Aunt Carol passed away last night from a staph infection. She was a sweet, sweet lady. I loved her, and I will miss her.

Carol lived with her brother and his wife. My Uncle found her this morning in her bedroom. I received the news while getting ready for work this morning.

When I arrived at the trailer this morning, there was a crime scene unit and a few police cars there. Since she died in the trailer, they had to conduct a small investigation, but the coroner did determine that her cause of death was from a Staph infection.

A couple of weeks ago Carol was bitten by a bug on her neck, and the bite had swollen up to the size of a large grapefruit. Carol refused to go to the doctor, but instead called her doctor, and he prescribed her some antibiotics. Well, Carol got sick from the antibiotics. She got so bad that she couldn’t get out of bed the last few days. The entire time this was going on my Uncle and his wife kept begging her to go to the doctor, but you can’t force somebody to do something that they don’t want to do. The bite did shrink, so Carol thought the antibiotics were working, but she was just getting sick from the antibiotics. Well, come to find out, the antibiotics did shrink the wound, but the staph infection was what was making her sick. Well, I guess her heart couldn’t take any more this morning. When my Uncle found her, Carol’s cat was laying beside her looking at her.

The major issue this morning was getting her body out of the trailer. Carol was a big woman. I would say she weighed somewhere around 500 lbs, and she stayed in a tiny bedroom that was big enough for a twin bed and dresser.  Once the coroner arrived on the scene and did their thing, the fire department was called out to remove the body. Two fire trucks arrived, fortunately without their lights and siren. I was assuming the worst that the trailer was going to have to be cut where her bedroom was, but all they had to do was cut off her bedroom door, and they were able to transport her out the back door. My Uncle and his wife went into their bedroom, and I sat outside in my truck while all of this was going on.

I really loved how the Alabaster Police Dept., Fire Dept, and Coroner’s office handled the situation. They were very respectful and professional.

The whole time I was there I thought, “I don’t want that to be me one day.”

This weight is coming off. I’m sick and tired of dealing with this obesity shit!!!

I hope I’m not being disrespectful to my Aunt for posting this, but I don’t want my family and friends to go trough what I went through today. I don’t want a bunch of firemen to have to lift my body out of my house when my time comes.

My exercise has been spot on these days, but my eating still needs improvement.  I’m not expecting a loss or much of a loss this Wednesday, but I believe this fall is really going to bring everything together.

Exciting News

Run Coach Danny and I had lunch the other day, and we both agree that it’s time for me to ramp up my mileage on my walks. The goal is to get my metabolic furnace so hot that when I stray on my eating plan, it doesn’t affect me so badly. This isn’t my free pass to eat anything that I want, it just adds a cushion to soften my falls.

Last week I did fantastic. I walked all five days and I swam all five days. I did miss yesterday, but I did do a longer route today. Right now it’s just so freaking hot outside. Anyway, Danny had an idea about me leading a couch to 10k walking group this fall, and I’m all for it!!! This has actually turned into a great project for me. Danny has Run University, and I’m going to start Walk University. There are no groups in town for walkers, and I think this will be fantastic for walkers in Birmingham.

Danny is going to design the program and kick us off, but then I’ll lead the group walks, and who knows, I might even throw in some motivational talks like Danny does with his running groups. My primary focus with this is just like Danny, to motivate people to accomplish their goal of finishing a race, and to have fun at the same time. Most people that have never participated in a race, get pumped about the race and overdo it on training and get injured or burned out. Also, we’re not concerned with speed. Our focus is completely on finishing the race.

We’ll kick off the group sometime around Labor Day, and the target race is the Vulcan 10k Run/Walk on November 6th, 2010. We’ll have three group walks per week at various locations around Birmingham. Most likely the schedule will be Tuesday 6pm, Thursday 6am, and one afternoon on the weekend. More details will be coming soon, and I’m also getting started on walkuniversity.com. It should be up in a week or so.

Last Week: 457 lbs

This Week: 456 lbs

Total Loss: -1 lb

Weight loss since Feb 2009: 176 lbs

I am very pleased that I did not gain anything this week. Last weekend was not a good food weekend. Stay tuned. Next week’s going to be a good one.

Have a great hump day.

I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP! I CONTROL MY DESTINY!

This morning went well. Everything went as planned except for the timing. I woke up on time, but I left the house at 6am instead of 5:30am, so that threw my schedule back 30 minutes, but it was no big deal. I still completed my workout of walking 1.2 miles and swimming 1000 yards.

I feel amazing right now with no fatigue.

I’m going to keep this up.

I hope you have a great Monday.

This post is a continuation from Friday.

Alright, here’s my game plan:

Breakfast – 5am – aprox. 500 cals
Snack – 9am – aprox. 200 cals
Lunch – 12pm – aprox. 5oo cals
Snack – 3pm – aprox. 200 cals
Dinner – 6pm – aprox. 500 cals

At least 64 oz of water per day and as much coffee and splenda that I want. Cut off for coffee is 4pm. If I eat out, I’ll drink unsweet tea with splenda.

Morning workout: walk one mile and swim 1000 yards (20 laps)

Afternoon workout: walk one mile

I can have one free meal per week.

Also, I get one alcohol pass per week. This allows me to drink beer with my friends.

Also, on Saturday my schedule won’t be so strict. I can sleep late and then get my workout on. Sunday is an off day for exercise and schedule, but not for tracking calories.

My plan is to prepare my meals the night before and store them in plastic containers. This way everything I need is done. I won’t have the problem of thinking about what I should eat, nor will I be tempted to stop off for fast food.

Also, my meal timing is not to keep my metabolism stable but to keep me from getting hungry. I usually have lunch at noon, and then have dinner at 6pm. Usually by dinner I am very hungry and that can lead to me over eating.

Good news: I just finished preparing most of tomorrow’s food!!! 1812 calories and 2443 sodium. Not too bad.

I’ve got my alarm set for the butt crack of dawn so I can get my workout on.

Also, today I ordered a Garmin Forerunner 305 with heart rate monitor. I’ll use that in combination with Dailymile to track and share my walks. I’ve also got my ipod charged and loaded with tunes.

I just needed a little organization.

BTW, this weekend was a little rough on food. I’m aiming to maintain this week, and keep with my plans so the following week will be awesome.

I did manage to get a good swim in this morning.

Here’s to organization, dedication, and planning!!!

Kill it this week!!!

This morning I was late getting to the gym to meet Jennifer A. for our walk. We got a quick walk in, and when I got back to the truck, I remembered that I had to get something out at work. So, I didn’t get my swim in as planned. Lately I’ve been unorganized and slacking. I was thinking on the drive to work that there’s no excuse why I shouldn’t get a couple of walks in per day. I don’t mean two – 5 mile walks, I mean 2 – 1 mile walks. Walking in the morning and afternoon will ramp up my metabolism twice, and I always feel good after a walk. Heck, I can walk anywhere. I’m not limited to the gym.

Also, I thought about what I’ve been eating…. I slack on that too. Sometimes I sneak in a snack here or there, and although they are 100 calories or less, they add up. I’ve been wanting to pre-make my meals for a long time, and I’ve mentioned it many times, but the time has come for me to actually do it. I’m ready to focus on the process and move my weight numbers down.

I need to take advantage of my free time. Most of my friends are married and have kids, and that makes planning workout times hard for them, not impossible, just hard. Also, weight loss requires some degree of focus, dedication, and sacrifice, and I can’t keep some of my old behaviors from when I was 632 lbs like sitting on my buttocks and watching tv all the time.  It’s time I take ownership!

One of my greatest motivators in town is Jennifer West. I’ve mentioned her many times, but I’ve seen first hand her dedication to the process. She religiously records what’s she has eaten on livestrong.com, she follows the advice given to her from her carb lovers group, and she gets her workouts in. It’s tough for a person at 160 lbs to consistently lose 2 lbs per week, and she pretty much did it for 12+ weeks in a row. It takes dedication, and from what I read today, she’s determined to lose 10 more pounds and she’s also got some pretty big fitness goals, which hits home with me because I have some big fitness goals too.

Well this post is getting cut short from work…. tonight or in the morning, I will lay out all the details of what I’m going to do.  My apologies.