So many thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head. No, this isn’t another “I’m depressed” post. I’m just thinking about where I keep going wrong. I attended a Christmas party last Saturday, and I used that as an excuse all last week to binge eat. I’m back on track now, but I must stop binging. period. I feel like sh** from my body retaining so much fluid. Some days after I binge, I feel like I have a hangover. At least now I understand how what I eat and how much I eat affects the way that I feel. If I eat crap, I feel like crap. If I eat healthy foods, I feel good.

One good thing is that I don’t feel guilty. I just understand that the way I feel is because of the eating behaviors from last week. This week, I am eating better, and I will lose this fluid gain and extra inches within 1-2 weeks.

To others with eating disorders, (bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorder, etc.) never give up, never stop trying, no matter how many times you fall. Also, don’t stop seeking professional help. Recovery is a slow, long process. Just do your best, and don’t give up. Listen to your counselors, doctors, dietitians, etc. Remember that their way is the best way to recovery. You can’t trust your own judgment on food. Trust theirs. They are there to help you, not hurt you, nor make you miserable. (I’m speaking out for some friends on twitter here that were struggling the other day.)

School

I worked with Jerry on Sunday, and I was so encouraged from talking with him. He started going back to school in his early 30′s after losing 80 lbs, and I learned from listening to him that it is possible to A. get to a healthy weight and B. finish school while working and being in my 30′s. It’s just encouraging to see someone else that has been down a similar path.

I signed up for my first class since I stopped going to school a few years ago. I’m going to take one math class in the Spring semester, which starts Jan. 4th. I’ll be taking this class via the internet. Having to go on campus only for my mid-term and final exams.

Peace out.